As you may or may not know, my husband I have 4 beautiful boys. We didn’t come to build our family the traditional way, all 4 are adopted but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Its a bizarre zero to four kids story in a mere 10 months and it was a whirlwind. I remember most of it but some of it is lost in a diaper changing, bottle giving, banana buying fog.
And in the midst of settling down with 4 kids my husband got a “real” job vs a post-doc and we MOVED. I thought I might crack but I didn’t. Small fissures in my mental state here and there but no real cracks.
The twins are from Bulgaria. Although they are the oldest they joined our family last. We had paperwork into Bulgaria for over three years before they issued us a referral for babies. Our paperwork said “a female infant under the age of 2 or a sibling group under the age of 4″. That was standard adoption paperwork verbage per the adoption agency. Guess it worked. No girl, but that sibiling group was there waiting!!
They twins were 26 months old when we brought them home. They were neglected and malnutritioned. They were scared. They ate til they vomited. The rocked and sucked their thumbs. They were completely non verbal and didn’t know how to play. They would sit where you plopped them down. They didn’t understand running around the room and scattering toys. If a toy rolled away from them they watched it go. They waiting for another toy to be within reach. The sat. And rocked. And sucked their thumbs. Should this have been a red flag to us? Yep. Did we know about RAD? Nope. Would it have changed anything? Nope.
Our other two kids are from the United States. South Carolina and Indiana. They were adopted as infants (4 months and birth, respectively) and aren’t RADlings. Just normal boys with big opinions and alot of energy!! They were 15 months and 5 months old (again, respectively) when the twins came home from Bulgaria. They are affected by the RAD in different ways than us as parents are. They haven’t figured out that the twins behavior toward certain things and their academic achievements aren’t grade-level w/ thier peers. They just love their brothers for who they are and that’s what we want. That’s what we are working towards. Those RADling twins need all the love and support they can get!!